Dear Workman's Comp, can I at least have some vodka?

Ok, deep breath for the expediency of our fab legal system.....my trial is on the one year anniversary date of my injury!  I got so fucking sick of waiting for you people that I self paid for all treatments and am now well.  I will have receipts, both originals and copies, available for your viewing pleasure at the trial.  I have a great lawyer, this is ALL HE DOES.  (My lawyer seems really happy and driven but if I were him I would probably off myself.)

Since you idiotic fucktards fired me, I have re-started yoga, adopted a very hyper puppy who requires 4 walks a day, and become intimately acquainted with each Top Chef and Housewife, and rediscovered the childhood joys of cartwheels and hula hoops.  It makes so much sense, in this economy, to pay disability to someone who wants to work, so that they can lay in bed, watch cable, and eat hummus all day.  I am never voting again.  I have been stocking up on ammo for The Great Texas Separation from that useless land mass all around us!

I need another tattoo to celebrate, I propose:



  Enough of my babble, go read Hyperbole and a Half, it is the best blog on the intertubes.